At some point in our lives, we are bound to experience defeat. It can be crushing and disheartening when things do not go the way that we had wanted or expected them to—and it is easy for those moments of disappointment to make us doubt ourselves and our abilities. However, no matter how hard it may seem at first, picking yourself back up after defeat is possible; sometimes, all you need is a handful of tips from someone who has been there before! In this blog post, I will provide guidance on overcoming failure and regaining your self-confidence so you can look ahead with optimism toward achieving success in all areas of your life.
Tip 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings
Take the time to really acknowledge your feelings about what happened. Allow yourself to be angry or sad or whatever emotions come up for you but don’t stay stuck there too long; try not to get lost in them. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way, but you don’t have to stay in this place forever.
I don’t really want to put a time limit on this because disappointments hit differently. In one situation you could be over it by the time the phone call is over and in another situation could take you a full week to get out of your feelings.
Tip 2: No Negative Self-talk is allowed
In times like this, it can be easy to slip into negative self-talk. This could lead you to believe that you’ll never make progress or that there’s something wrong with you, but I’m here to tell you NO! It is important not to put yourself down because of the setback. Instead, use the power of positive affirmations and speak words of encouragement to yourself; build yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.
Ask yourself: Who would I bet on? Are you betting on that situation working out for you? Or would you bet on yourself finding a better situation on your own?
Tip 3: Get Perspective
Another way to move on after a setback is to get perspective. Take a step back and try to look at the situation objectively. This is where asking someone that you trust for their opinion can be really helpful.
Searching Youtube for advice can be VERY helpful! There are so many people creating helpful videos like these on all different kinds of topics.
Also, spiritual videos. You can find loads of guidance in spiritual books and videos on Youtube. Or find a few Tarot & Astrology readings to tap into wisdom from a higher perspective.
(You want to read for your Rising sign, Sun sign, and moon sign to get a full picture.) We will visit that in another video.
But Youtube honestly is a free resource at the tip of your hands where you can go for getting perspective and being able to talk to many people with different experiences.
Tip 4: Keep your Schedule
The worst thing you can do when you are heartbroken or disappointed is use up all your vacation time (*insert side eye*)
ONE DAY – that’s it. You get to call off one day, and after that, you have to get back to your routine. You have to get up, go to work, and continue the process of self-care.
This could include anything from going to the gym or dancing to your favorite music in your living room. It means keeping up with things like doing the laundry, dishes, etc. That’s right: stay in motion! Keep a regular sleep schedule and move through each day as best you can. You don’t have to be productive all the time – just consistent.
That goal or project you’ve been lazily putting off for a while? Now is the time to get it done! Focus on completing things that you’ve been putting off, and remember that small wins add up over time.
I’m not saying that this will be easy (because it won’t!) – but if you just keep going, eventually you’ll start to build momentum again and find yourself feeling more confident in yourself and your abilities.
Tip 5: Practice Gratitude
This is something that you really should get into the habit of doing daily but in times of distress this is the best way to combat negativity. For every negative thought that comes up, replace it with something you are grateful for. Sometimes when I’m driving I will just start naming things that I’m grateful for.
Recalling all the things that God has blessed you with and when you remember that your future is looking better than your past, think about it… whose loss is it really?
Most of all, don’t forget how amazing you are! Every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow, so take full advantage of it and use it as fuel to propel yourself forward. Don’t let anything stop you from believing in yourself. Tell yourself everything you need to hear. Be kind to yourself, and stay positive.
The process of moving on is never easy, but it is always possible. Acknowledge your feelings, keep up with a healthy schedule, and surround yourself with people who will help you remember your worth–these are key steps to beginning the journey toward re-establishing self-confidence. Remember that no one said this would be easy; however, taking small steps each day will get you closer to where you want to be. Just breathe, take it one day at a time, and let go of the negative self-talk.
You got this!